


War Crimes

by transmasc_jamestkirk



Category: Original Work, Poetry - Fandom
Genre: descriptions of blood/injuries, its not awful but i thought id put a warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-18
Updated: 2016-10-18
Packaged: 2018-08-23 03:07:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 415
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8311615
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/transmasc_jamestkirk/pseuds/transmasc_jamestkirk
Summary: This is just a lil piece I wrote about the way my mental illnesses make me feel sometimes





	

Sometimes I wish that the pain was physical  
That emotional pain was actually just blood spat from broken teeth and split lips  
Black and blue bruises giving me identity  
At least with blood filling my mouth I would have something to spit back  
A fist is more solid than a cloud of fear  
Maybe the split in my lip would finally share my secrets  
My blood would be a flood of stories  
Things I could never say, nights I could never breathe  
The drips on my clothes and the floor would be the transcript for my suffering  
Whispers of feelings decorating the house  
Painting a picture of my brain  
It wouldn’t be pretty and it sure as hell wouldn’t be romantic  
It would be a mess of dark crimson staining white carpet  
Depicting nights where I broke down but still managed to get up the next day  
Depicting the dirty image of dragging yourself through hell  
I would wear those stains like a badge  
It would get me stares  
It would finally get someone to notice  
If every gritty truth of my mental illnesses were painted on my skin with bruises and cuts people would be horrified  
They’d ask who did this  
Maybe then I’d have an answer  
Because right now, my abuser is myself  
Mental illnesses  
Those are my brains little soldiers  
Its faithful little army on a quest for blood  
Their disaster strewn path is hidden in the dark corners of my mind  
Through memories, and relationships, and hopes, and dreams  
The craters are hidden  
Hastily covered up so nobody falls in  
Some nights I wish so desperately that the pain was physical   
That the craters were gashes covering my arms  
Some nights I wish that I couldn’t tell where the blood was coming from because I had finally removed my teeth from my tongue after biting it for way too long  
That my silence would be broken by a quiet little murmur that crawled its way out of my broken jaw  
Because once I spat all the blood out, maybe then I could finally breathe  
Because maybe then I could finally put all my broken pieces back together  
Reset the broken bones of living  
Because maybe then I’d finally hear the right words  
Because nobody cares unless they can see the damage  
Because you can’t fix what your brain has created  
My blood is screaming for release  
My nerves are aching to be bruised  
Because then I could finally feel something real


End file.
